Chapter Nine- Part 3
Colors of red and bright orange fill my inner vision. I feel my second chakra spasm sporadically within my lower belly. I thought she said this was about the clearing of the first chakra? I have a basic knowledge of the chakras and am aware of the connection between what I am now feeling and what I have spent much of my time journaling lately, being, the ways I experienced my sexuality around the age of ten. I become filled with immense shame, grief, hate, fear and insecurity. I feel these qualities hiding deep within my body and see them rise up and radiate outward. My entire body fills with warmth and I know I must surrender to healing hurt my past. I gain a clear signal from within that it is time to confront the confusion I feel, and let go of the awful thought’s and feelings I have for so long harbored about my body and sexuality.
I recall experiencing such an extreme healing take place in Australia through Reiki, so much so that I thought all those bad feelings were gone. But perhaps it was to prepare me for the grittier layers of pain that reside even deeper within. My tummy flutters and tears fall down my face. I feel an internal mourning for a ‘past’ that never was. I mourn for what my life would have been like without the harmful trials I had endured. I mourn for the ignorant little girl that did not know how to say ‘NO’. I grieve for her, as I feel she can never know herself without knowing her past.
Some time passes after the attunement. I sit with eyes closed for what feels like ten minutes. My eyes begin to part as if coming out of a long meditation. Sharon hands me two tissues and a glass of water, instructing me to ‘drink’. As I drink the water, I look directly into Sharon’s eyes. Somehow I feel braver than before, like a different person than I was when I walked into this room.
It is June’s turn next. I slowly get up and switch seats with her. Settling into my chair, I realize Sharon has said very little this evening. When I saw her channel, she was so full of big words, accents, and fan-fare.. But tonight there is a softer tone about her, I guess she is just being Sharon, the woman who resides when she is not ‘channeling’. June gets comfortable just as rain begins to hit hard upon the window at the back wall, causing condensation to build up quickly in my view. She sits as I did, with her hands in a prayer position. This is cool, I’ll get to see a full view of what the ‘attunement’ process is.
In a quick swoop, Sharon raises her arms above June’s crown, draws something over her, and blows a long breath down into the top of her head. She then stands in front of June, bending forward. This blocks my view momentarily, but I do notice that she scribbles on June’s palms, in what seems like a similar fashion to how she scribbled on mine. She next stands behind June with her arms hovering, and then does some kind of weird squiggly movement behind June’s body, finally resting her hands upon her shoulders. Is that it? I think to myself. Two minutes of waving arms, scribbling on palms, circling steps and breaths through the crown? Is that what happened to me? Is this what is causing such a visceral upsurge of remembering within my body and mind, of all those things I had so very well pushed way deep down inside? After June has had some time to acclimate as I did, Sharon hands her water and instructs me to come over and lay hands on June. She tells me to report what I feel or see while sharing Reiki with her.
“Just let the energy flow through you. Do not try to do anything with it, other than watch it. Listen to its guidance and allow yourself to be innocent in its presence.” Her words instruct a perfect path for me to feel out my first ‘hands on’ Reiki experience. I am first guided to lay my hands upon June’s crown. After a minute or two of silence, a couple of sudden thuds arise from the floor above us- as if a neighbor from upstairs is trying to get our attention. ‘Bang-bang-bang’ the noise occurs again and I instinctively move my hands from her crown to her heart. I can feel my palms radiate great heat, as if someone has turned up the temperature. Soon my palms begin to tingle with pin-prick sensations and I feel to step away and end the ‘session’. Sharon guides us to switch places.
To be continued..
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I am not a certified nutritionist, doctor or therapist.
Please consult your healthcare professional before participating in any
lifestyle changes you may feel are questionable to your health.
I am not responsible for any action you resume, You are- Make it pleasurable.
© Tuesday May Thomas 2013